If you’re one of those kindhearted, overly caring teens when it comes to friendships, family or any relationships you are involved in, you may just be hanging on to the potential of it rather than the patterns, and that can lead to getting hurt.
In a late Elevation Church episode, with Pastor Steven Furtick, he mentioned the importance of choosing the people in your life based on their patterns rather than their potential. He went on to emphasize on how important it is to know someone’s patterns and recognize whether or not they are good or bad for you and if you should continue in life with them or not. The “potential” aspect of your relationship however, is you being aware of a person’s bad/negative patterns, but ignoring them anyway just because you see potential in them. While on the flip side, the ignorance of one’s pattern can leave you stuck on potential they don’t have/can’t see. Such a conflict of interest is very dangerous when ignored, especially when it comes to making friends, networking and dealing with any kind of relationship overall for future purposes.
As a teen you should take into serious consideration the people you form relationships with and their “then vs now” behavior. Always keep an eye out for a person’s spiritual, physical, mental and emotional behavioral patterns rather than to ignore them all and dwell on the potential only you see in them. They have habits/a history of lying, betrayal, broken friendships, etc? Pinpoint those patterns and refrain from getting involved further. They have a never-ending habit of procrastinating, cancelling or putting off important and urgent things? Refrain! That’s another negative pattern right there. Their patterns may not change no matter how much potential you see in them. And, as for potential, it’s something just as important as tracking a pattern too.
One can dwell on seeing potential in a person for so long, but what happens when they simply just won’t see it for themselves? You end up putting yourself in the position to get hurt. With patterns now, it’s just the same. The person has bad habits that seem to be rooted and never changing, but because you see potential in them, you hang on. However, patterns when unrecognized only get worst as they grow. Be smart enough to discern when you are hanging on to someone with bad patterns just because you see potential in them.
Don’t get me wrong though, having potential in someone is a very good thing, to see them in such a positive and empowering light. But, when they don’t see it for themselves and put no effort towards acting on it, even after you reveal it to them, then do yourself a favor and refrain from forming a close relationship with them.
In the end, pattern overrules potential.
Why? Because the patterns you display shows more of who you truly are than the potential one may see. The potential they often times see is who you “can” be rather than who you truly are, in comparison of the reality of one’s patterns.
Therefore, seek out patterns before hanging on and being blinded by the hopes of potential.